Good Intentions and ‘Divine’ Interventions - On Disability, Spirituality and Cloaked Ableism.

I’ve spent most of my life caught between the edges of worlds. Propelled by a hunger for associative linking and divergent thinking, I revelled in carefully snake and laddering my way through niche industries, each complete with their own curated identities (of course). Somewhere between the degrees in design thinking, social justice imperatives, and burnout spells I found myself flung heart first into the systemigraph of disability justice and EDIB (equity, diversity, inclusion, belonging). Then, in the midst of this hyper-fixated love affair, *not so surprisingly* came along my string of diagnosis’, swinging my professional plethora of special interests toward a suddenly very personal plot.

I’ve coached both businesses and parents on the social model of disability and inclusion in action. I’ve held my head low when trying to explain to my family I didn’t need to be cured but rather understood so that I can co-exist without my proforma of masked mannerisms. And, I’ve held it high on a stage to a group of strangers trying to guess which disabilities I had while I spoke on the importance of inclusive hiring.

| The Medical Model of Disability views disability as deficiencies requiring fixing, managing or intervening so that a person can equally participate in society. Disabilities are considered a problem with the person wherein it is their responsibility to bear the cost of repairing. The Social Model in contrast, views our environment and socially constructed systems as ‘disabling’ to folks with diverse bodies, minds and experiences - placing the responsibility on society to reduce barriers to access rather than reward uniformity with access. |

After a number of years in the sector, I understood the dance. You say this, I say this, but it’s okay, inclusion is a journey and I’ll meet you where you are with a gentle, but underscored, nudge to take the next step.

Defeated by a slowly impeding dopamine ceiling and series of not so fortunate life events - as they always tend to come together - I uno-reversed my focus line to cast back to my old roots in the intuitive and energetic arts.

Born to a pair of eclectic spiritual parents I was privy to a many modality in my day. From being carted to the buddhist meditation temple to Hafez and tea leaves, nothing about the way my parents moved through life checked out with my friends - and at many points, my teenage angst. Over the course of my life I had been formally trained by my mother in various energy and divination modalities, but I hadn’t yet felt that thumping in my chest that those tools mattered to me just as much as they did to her.

Cut to my 5th, maybe 6th, sudden uproot to a new couch-bed in the middle of who knows where, I figured nothing else could scare me, so f** it let’s dive into tarot, mediumship, psychics, mysticism++ and see what floats.

And did I fall hard. I’m talking tattoos, red hair, collective livestreams on Instagram, the whole gambit. I fling heart first, remember?

Eventually I found my way into working 1-1 with folks in Reiki, readings and meditation - later leaving my full-time disability research role to pursue it more fully.

As I unshed years of stuffy versions of who I ought to be and eagerly waded my way through the pool of spiritual professionals. I quickly doggy paddled my way backwards to check myself and what exactly I had so willingly flung into.

Let me explain.

→ Have you ever been told by your favourite spiritual influencer that you caught ADHD from using your phone too much? And you just need to go on a heavy metal detox to cure it?

→ Or perhaps when you told your spiritually woke friend you have depression you were met with a ‘you need to go through an Aya ego death or commit yourself more fully to your shadow work’.

→ Or even, I don’t see colour or disability, that is matrix conditioning and we [often people not affected by those identities] need to lead our communities by example and rise above these egoic traits that don’t matter. But hold on that’s a whole different blog post.

Notice anything familiar? While the intention of these statements often may come from a well intending place, they are rooted in…ba bada bum… the medical model of disability. Cue audible gasp*.

Yes, the very community so many a folx are battling for ostracizing holistic modalities as a valid means to wellness is the very same one those common statements share roots with.

How did we get here?

If you lean a little closer you can see that the focus on those statements is viewing difference as a deficiency that ought to be resolved. It’s only that the suggestive means of resolve is holistic rather than prescriptive. But the story is still, you are not working correctly according to some hyperbolic gargantuan fantasy of what a normal human ought to be.

“But I was intuiting led by my heart, so it’s absolved, right”? Well… That’s where things get interesting, to me at least.

In any inclusion work, if let’s say you utter a micro-aggression to Miriam at work, you are encouraged to shift the focus from defending your intention to holding accountability and space for the impact. That moment, it’s about genuinely apologizing, and then mostly listening to Miriam’s experience, what they need from you, and committing to learning to do better next time. That moment is not about hyperbolizing to Miriam that your son has many trans friends and language didn’t exist in your generation to make sure they know you are a good person before you get on the Go Train home.

So why in spirituality does your intention absolve you from your impact? Well, it doesn’t.

Your intention, no matter how noble, doesn’t change the reality of whether your response to those around you when disclosing their disabilities is seeking to resolve, rescue, or respect them.

And no matter how you slice it, unsolicited advice, whether psychic or regular, is unsolicited. If someone confides in you they’re coming out of a manic episode, thank them for sharing and ask if they need anything before you command them to cold plunge.

Because in your instructions you are creating a very critical inference. An inference that says, you have something wrong with you that I know the answer to fixing.

Now if you’re reading all of this and thinking to yourself, while I was speaking from my heart when I said that and my intention as a lightworker was to support them in their healing journey, so this doesn’t include me.

Hold on.

I’m not saying energy and empathy doesn’t matter, it does. A lot. All I’m saying is your impact does too. And if not creating harm is a part of your values set, always double check your vocab and impulses, even in the name of healing.

One practical tip is to use the Ask the Person (ATP) framework. Essentially, when in doubt, just ask the person directly what they need instead of making assumptions. Sometimes they may be looking to you to simply listen and accept them. Or hey, they may be looking for some advice. And if they do ask for advice, explore disability inclusive language, even when divining! For example, use a strengths based approach (without drifting into inspiration porn) that focuses on removing barriers in a person’s environment rather than framing the person themselves as broken.

If we homogenized all of our diversity, how will we ever reimagine and rebuild a better system than the current mess we’ve gotten ourselves into?